Hello, my fellow friend. There is a secret. One I even kept from you, my confident companion. A secret passed to me by my ancersors when I was about your age. I hope you do your best living with it and that you'll take your time to find someone worthy that you can trust. Trust is all.
There is a way of... There is one way of not getting your ass splashed by piss-shitted water while pooping. Put 3-4 toilet paper sheets in the toilet at start. No need for more. More could block it, but you'll live it by yourself.
I love you so much. And now I'm dying.